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 I watched 'Jesus Camp' yesterday. I've been avoiding it for months. I knew it would depress me. Both because it's versions of faith, ministry to kids, interaction with culture and US politics are VERY different than mine AND because these still are 'my people': folks who love Jesus, who care
about kids, who want to make a difference. I knew it would leave me
profoundly conflicted.
I was not disappointed. I found watching it every bit as unpleasant as I expected.
This blog isn't really about 'Jesus Camp', though. It's about
these questions. Do we have an obligation, a need to watch or see
things that we'll find distasteful? Do we 'need' to feel uncomfortable?
Is it 'good for us' to be depressed by what we see?
In many ways, our culture answers with a resounding, 'NO'! We love being comfortable. We build homes in suburban cul-de-sacs so we can only see manicured lawns. Whereas previous generations saw death firsthand, we botox and sanitize our lives to keep 'passing on' at bay. We prefer 'truthiness', versions of events that 'feel' how we'd like truth to be than actual truth.
But, is any of that good for us? Are our lives of beauty and peace illusory whistling in the dark?
The Hebrew prophets write powerfully of the beauty and wonder of God and at moments about the beauty and wonder of life. They also spend a lot of time talking about harsh reality. Often they seem like they would affirm the words of 19th Century philosopher, Bertrand Russell when he said, "The slow sure doom falls, pitiless and dark." They stare relentlessly into the depths of human depravity and suffering and force us to join them.
And then joy, wonder, beauty break in.
I guess the point of this rambling is this, for us to truly experience 'the art of wonder' it won't do to function as if wonder and beauty is all there is. Wonder, beauty, love, Grace are the miracles they are because they spring forth in a world where they are desperately needed. Disneyworld is cute and fun for awhile, but it is not real.
Matt Browning, on another post , recommended the writing of Annie Dillard. She writes hauntingly of both the beauty and horror of life in our world. She has described her vivid descriptions of suffering as her apologetic for the existence of God. She believes that speaking frankly about suffering gives her a stage to then speak frankly about Wonder to a dis-believing audience. She's on to something. U2's wonderful 'Elevation Tour' DVD ends with two seemingly incongruent songs. The last is the band ending the concert with 'Walk On' and joyously leading the audience in singing over and over the words 'Allelujah'.
Five minutes earlier, Bono had sung the first verse of 'Wake Up Deadman' where he sings, "Jesus, Jesus can you help me? I'm alone in the world, and a fucked up world it is too."
Doesn't his swearing and doubt cancel out or delegitimize the bands worship? I would like to argue that it does exactly the opposite. Having stared into and spoken honestly about life's brokenness, it's Bono's praise that rings true, that doesn't seem naive or contrived.
So, I want to keep watching movies that make me cringe, having conversations with people who don't think like I do, going to places that are not perfect suburban oasis'. Believing that doing so both opens my eyes to engage the needs of the world and to better recognize beauty and grace for the miracles they are. I invite you to join me.
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